You should always ask, "Do I want to get back together?" and "Am I willing to do WHATEVER it takes to make it happen?" No amount of planning or goodwill can save a process from failing if there isn't sufficient dedication to it. That's the way things are.
It's not enough to ask
yourself, "Am I willing to make an effort to repair things with my
spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other?"Put another way. You're
probably already doomed if you can't see a way out of your current predicament.
And that's certainly not what any of us was hoping to hear. The
"Cinderella fantasy" is what a marriage
therapist in LosFeliz might say motivates many people to get
married or start a relationship. Like in a fairy tale, when everything is a bed
of roses and no thorns are found. True, some relationships might be a hot mess,
but that's life.
When things aren't
going well in a relationship, it's human nature to turn to close friends and
family for guidance. The problem with that strategy is that our loved ones and
friends can't always be neutral and take sides. To see the obvious, you may
need "new eyes and ears."
A licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Feliz
www.latherapy.info
has
the knowledge and experience (in theory!) to deal with interpersonal conflicts.
It can be argued either way as to whether or not they succeed. A recent poll
indicated that only 25% of people surveyed benefitted from marriage counseling.
The consensus was that it was counterproductive. If the cost is $50 to $100 per
hour, it's reasonable to worry that the odds are stacked against you. Again,
the most crucial factor is sincere dedication on both sides of the
relationship.